'the adventures of a thirty-ish university graduate' or, alternately and perhaps much more aptly: 'as mad as a barking fox'

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

and maybe you should sleep

i haven't gotten dressed in two days. despite this, i feel pretty good.

fancy coming over? i can't promise a lot- i'll make soup from a package and then have to ask you to carry our bowls from the kitchen to the couch. we'll put something stupid in the vcr and talk through the whole thing with intermittant slurpings from spoons that are too small and questions about the unidentifiable re-hydrated vegetables we're consuming. later, there'll be a disaster involving me, my crutches and a bowl of popcorn, but it'll be worth it to see the look on your face. of course, you'll have to stay and sleep on the couch, and in the morning i know you'll be gone before i wake up, but that's ok.

i know exactly who you are.

Monday, November 28, 2005

ready to begin

it's the six week anniversary.

i told james and kate that i had the means to bake acake. and i do, except that trying to bake a cake whilst gimpy isn't the easiest thing, so i decided against it. instead i made some knorr soup and ate some chocolate that liz sent me.

i also spent a lot of time today watching people walking.

the amount of pedestrians in ottawa really is astounding. and they brave all kinds of weather- like icy rain this morning and snow yesterday and unseasonable warm conditions tomorrow. they're down every street. they stop caring about what they look like. most of them have ipods or some sort of music plugged in.

i miss the anonymity of walking down a street with headphones on, making up stories about the lives of the people i see inside my head. i miss one foot in front of the other, solidly contacting the ground, squeaking in the snow, slipping on the ice, ringing off the frozen pavement. i miss being able to run out to grab some milk. i miss walking up stairs.

eight weeks to go.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

turning your orbit around

you know what's disconcerting?

dozing off on the couch this afternoon, i suddenly jerked awake to the face of the one, the only david caruso.

scariest. wake up. ever.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

i saw the constellations reveal themselves one star at a time

i had a rough few weeks there.

marmee said that it was like a grieving process, breaking a bone, right from the get go. i forget the stages of grief but i think i did them not in order because there weren't any issues really until the forth of november. and then, everything went to hell. you want crabby? see me for the past three weeks. in fact, see me this morning. but then i came back to ottawa.

and tonight, in the nosebleeding gimp section, balanced precariously on my right leg, crutch under arm on the left side, kate to my right, i finally let it all go as i- and about twenty thousand other people- screamed at the top of our lungs as the red lights came up and the organs started and those first few words leaked from bono's mouth: i want to run....

you'll want to know if i cried. i think the answer is obvious.

Monday, November 21, 2005

this is what they represent

lamb is clapped on my head, H is on the tv behind me and i am nursing cat wounds.

i spent two hours filling out insurance forms this morning. i would like to speak to the people that word these forms and explain to them that, like thomas aquinas [good ole TA] small words can be just as confusing as a word like antidisestablishmentarianism. and that small words can, in short amounts of time, lead to tears. lots of tears.

U2 is only four days from now. i think maybe i should be excited.

i think i need some outside. too bad i can't really do it my way.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

is there anybody in there?

it snowed.

like, thirty centimetres of snow. which is about a foot for the metrically impaired. and i have to say, that never ever before has a mere foot of snow made me feel so entirely trapped.

i need to go and get crampons for my damned crutches.

heh, then i can ice pick anyone or anything i want that i feel is not being sensitive my gimpy emotional and physical state.

bah. humbug.

in totally unrealted news, i made my cat nim growl out both good king wenclas and frosty the snowman. i haven't laughed that hard in just about forever.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

'cos i feel like

in my search to see only the positive of my current situation, i've been thinking over my days.

generally, i wake up, take some drugs, shift my leg a bit, crutch to the bathroom, then to the couch where my marmee brings me coffee. i then look out the window, pet the cats and check the weather. then, after some food, i make my way back to my room to get dressed- if i'm feeling particularly spunky i venture back into the bathroom with my sexy shower seat for a shower. the rest of the day is then spent reclining and eating various sundry goods brought to me by my mom.

so, the positive in all of this [besides the fact that i get to recline all day]?

i've discovered martha. and i don't think my world will ever be the same.

go figure.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

the first line on the first page

i've been witness to a lot of gross things in my life.

two summers ago we had a fish overload and we were forced to keep all of the garbage that we produced in the not-so-cold outside ice house. when garbage day rolled around and we started pulling the bags of trash out, the ground actually crawled with the maggots that poured out of every bag.

i thought that that would win for the grossest thing of life ever, but two weeks and a day ago, something even grosser won out: the noise my left leg made when a green vovlo driven by a woman named cheryl failed to yield and drove into me as i was crossing the street.

the bones and cartiledge that were crushed made a sound like wet and dry rice crispies being mashed between two planks of rough wood.

yeah, that's the new gross out of life right there. my knee versus a volvo.