i'm looking in on the good life i might be doomed never to find

last night, in my other other other other journal [read: the one that's actually on paper and therefore completely inaccessable unless you pull a james bond and take over my room and build up the nerve to open it, because it's really kind of very scary looking and it says things like looking forward to regretting it and random crap like that. anyways] i wrote down that i was suffering from that french curse of ennui.

i think it means a sort of malaise, but then i might be wrong.

i also think it's a sign that i'm being overly dramatic and i need a swift kick in the arse, because really, who stops, thinks about it, and writes down that they are suffering from ennui?

honestly.