'the adventures of a thirty-ish university graduate' or, alternately and perhaps much more aptly: 'as mad as a barking fox'

Thursday, December 16, 2004

my aching heart will bleed for you to see

monday last was a bad day. actually, let me rephrase that, it wasn't really bad, it was just probably the saddest day of my life ever.

my dad went in for surgey with what was confirmed as esophageal cancer. he spent most of the day in surgery, wherein they removed seven centimetres of his esophagus, re-building it with skin from his arm, which they then had to patch with skin from his leg. in addition to this, muscle fibre was removed from his chest to rebuild his neck, which mainly consisted of scar tissue from the removal of his voicebox just under ten years ago.

needless to say, i spent most of monday dwelling on this, and about three hours that night crying. not from fear, not from anger, not from rage- just from the pure emotion of sad.

the teddy bear was in poor shape the next morning- i always bury my face in it, so he totally needs a wash because he was snotted good. i mean real good. like... wait, i don't even want to describe it good because it's possibly the most disgusting this ever.

poor bear.


Blogger Strings and Things said...

As I write this to you, my father is currently in the hospital recovering from a prostectomy. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer in July. His surgery was postponed due to heart failure in september, so only now is he getting the surgery he needs. So becuase of all the waiting and stress i've endured, i can identify with the pain you felt to make you so sad during your fathers surgery. Several times during the past few months I found myself breaking down and crying, wondering how i'd be able to cope with life without him. Wondering if I'd be able to take care of my family the same way he was able to. It doesn't seem to matter how many times a loved one goes into the hospital, it's never an easy time. I hope that your father is doing well, and I hope that you're feeling better. Cancer is the worst news any family can receive.



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