mother sucking rock and roll

last year, i got in the habit of writing imaginary letters to inanimate things that bothered me. today, i compose again.

dear jesus class,

you know, i was really excited about you. a whole year of jesus and jesus related things- what more could a girl ask for? yet you came along and sucked so hard that you made me want to get a flaming fork and stab out my eyeballs. you made me want to dig my heart out with a spoon. you made me want to eat all my meals in the cafe for a year. you made me want to listen to n*sync for hours on end because even that would be better than you. in fact, you made me not even want to look at funny jesus related things because they made me shudder, thinking of you, and that my friend is a terrible, terrible thing.

in conclusion, you suck harder than anything else and i hope you jump into a pool of rabid seals and are not saved by the grace of god, because he most certainly should not be with something that has as much death-power as you.

love, megs

[the rabid seal pool death thing is actually from class, so i guess there was at least one cool thing i got from it].