'the adventures of a thirty-ish university graduate' or, alternately and perhaps much more aptly: 'as mad as a barking fox'

Sunday, October 31, 2004

walk on the ocean, step on the stones

i jerk awake, my arm numb from being slung across my face, the book mashed into my field of vision. i can see the words ajax, spear and thrust and am entirely disoriented.

i was trying to read, honestly, but i fell asleep with all the lights on and my book mashed on my face. [there's a way to attract the fellas]. anyways, what woke me up was the arrival of caitlin.

"i FUCKIN' got....i got...FUCKIN they kicked me out of...they fucking kicked me OUT of the BAR!" i hear her slight frame bounce off of my door and cringe, because i know that tomorrow she'll be covered in bruises. despite not really wanting to, i force myself up, and open my door to see what the deal is.

brendan and anna are trying to deal with her. caitlin's swaying all over the place, her arms flailing and her legs mysteriously keeping her upright. i think that perhaps they're a separate entitey or something- there's no way a girl of her size holding as much liquor as she's claiming to can still possibly be upright.

"fucking like six..NO EIGHT! bouncers had to like, fuckin, grab me by the arms and then FUCKIN they BANNED me!" she yells at anna, brenadan and i. we're trying not to laugh as she continues, her arms flailing in circular motions. "they shaid- they SAID i was too drrrrrunk to be. they shaid i was too drunk to be THERE." her glazed eyes get angry. "i'm NOT giving up. i'm going to go and make out with ashley and we're going to win that FUCKING xbox."

[there was a costume contest at the bar for the best costume- winner takes home an xbox. caitlin and ashley both wanted to win it so that we could have video games because we've discovered that we all secretly love them. either that or we were going to take it back to walmart and return it and get a tv or a dvd player for our common living area. their final plan was to go up on stage together and make out. there's something inherently weird about that, but if it means that we get an xbox- heh. and they both agreed to it while sober. imagine.]

anyways- caitlin decides she's going to go back and win us that fucking xbox, so she rips off her shirt [it's covered in cranberry juice, as is her white white white jacket] and changes entirely. escorted by anna and brendan, who seem to have no other choice, she departs, leaving me to do what i can with the stained clothing. [she might be lucky with the shirt- the coat is fucked as far as i can tell.]

not three minutes pass before the whole gang's back again, plus one. shawn [possible shagee tonight] has arrived, sober as a brick to save the day. luckily, he's about seven foot eight so caitlin's no match for him and he herds her quietly into her room. she's more than complacent.

when the door closes anna looks at me with twinkling eyes and an upturned mouth, and mouths the word "rape."

i smile at her, shaking my head in disbelief. we both know that poor shawn hasn't a chance in that room with caitlin.


Blogger Katy said...

poor poor shawn. death by sex? might not be such a bad way to go. but did ashley get the xbox?



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