and the words that secure a cause are now faint whisperings

i slip my feet into the shoes, fighting slightly with the buckle and walk slowly around. tuesday comes over while i'm twisting and turning and hemming.

"oh my god meg, those have bows! they're perfect!" she exclaims, sipping on a mango juice.

so on thursday night i felt like going out, but instead stayed in, ate something [dear meg, get a handle on this whole food thing, love yourself] and generally wasted time and cleaned my room. i crawled between the freezing cold sheets just after midnight, expecting to sleep well.

at half-midnight, or just after, ashley comes home with dave, who proceeds [or so i assumed] to vomit for about ten minutes. horrible disgusting death noises from across the way. then silence. then caitlin comes in, positively yelling. she and will bang off the walls, disappear for a bit, then come back. it settles. i drift.

and then my phone rings. it's tuesday, looking for a place to crash. no problem, come over, two a.m. it's all good. i wander into the kitchen.

there's banging in caitlin's room, and then a louder bang BANG BANG from ashley's room, and dave starts screaming in a drunken slur "i'm coming in your mouth!"

the water i am drinking comes out my nose. ashley comes out of her room, caitlin comes out of hers and there is a girl pile of laughing hilarity on my bed for the next few minutes. tuesday arrives shortly thereafter and we stay up talking about boys and drunken actions and plans for the formal.

did i say i expected a good sleep? it was good- all three and a half hours i ended up getting.

and then, in the afternoon- tuesday and i went shopping for last minute formal needs. which for me included shoes. shoes with a bow. i'm utterly disgusted. and, erm, well.... i bought sparkly things. i mean super sparkly things. rhinestones and pearls. sparkly like that. and make-up.

i fear for my soul. and i'm going to hell.