man your battle stations- we'll have you home pretty soon

not to be cocky or anything, but you know what?

i. made. it.

today has a huge significance to me- i didn't really realize how big until the day was upon me. this time, exactly one year ago, i was sitting in the leg trauma room of the E.R. at ottawa general trying to convince myself that it couldn't be all that bad, that getting hit by a car really wasn't that bad, that not walking, broken bones could be dealt with.

and on the surface- that was totally true. it was the emotional whammy that really was next to insurmountable.

truth be told, i'm astonished at myself. again, maybe it's me being cocky, but after being hit by a car, losing my father, my paternal grandmother, and my maternal grandfather all in one year- i sometimes cannot fathom that i'm still here, i'm pretty ok and that i'm progressing toward normal happiness slowly but surely.

there's so many people to thank, so many small actions that have helped me that i cannot even begin to think about ascribing a number to them. however, that cocky part, it's standing up right now, pointing a finger at itself. because you know what?

i made it.

and that counts for something. and i'm allowing myself to accept it.

[kinda feels like i've flipped to the dark side momentarily or something. maybe i should put on my darth vader mask for a bit and pretend to rule the galaxy. oh yeah]