why does my soul feel so bad?

even though i knew it was coming, the commencement of the end makes me sad. all my crap in boxes makes me sad. the thought of leaving makes me sad. the thought of home-home makes me sad. the thought of what's being left behind makes me sad.

and i know i should be doing that chipper psychotic-woman-in-a-flashy-pant-suit-convention -on-happniess-and-well-being- thing and be chipper, but i don't want to. and in another non-adult way, i don't want to talk about it, AT ALL.

because that makes me sad too.

to counteract the sadness, i'm leaving my room and going to the canal to sunburn the top of my head and rate the roller bladers and they roll past on shakey legs. i give them all a ten, but only if there's no spandex involved.

it's a privlage folks, not a right.