'the adventures of a thirty-ish university graduate' or, alternately and perhaps much more aptly: 'as mad as a barking fox'

Sunday, February 29, 2004

god moving over the face of the waters

"damnit!" i curse. "i forgot the cheese."

on friday, kate and i went over to see les and cook dinner. it was to be a combined sort of birthday dinner for kate and i, as we didn't do anything terribly exciting except stare at ashton kutcher making his 'face' on my birthday. i was making a mexican torte...thing...for dinner, and had remembered all except the cheese. les and kate supplied me with it, and we progressed.

dinner was fantastic. "fan-fucking-tastic!" the inner voice agrees. very self-bolstering.

i think it was the after dinner bit that made the night go down hill.

"i'm not drunk!" kate proclaims around ten, as she weaves across the bed in search of more vodka. she maintains this stance for about another half hour, until, with a look of surprise, she announces: "i'm drunk!"

"no shit." pipes up the inner voice, but i shush it. just because it has issues about looking after and/or dealing with inebriated people doesn't give it the right to be rude about it.

kate and i take the bus home. i'm ehausted. kate is wasted.

so wasted infact, that she's given herself a minor bout of alcohol poisoning and ends up sitting at her computer desk, retching the "fun" of her night into a bucket.

"motherFUCKER!" screams the inner voice. then, "shit, shit, shit!"

i get up, telling kate to move into the bathroom. she sits there, unmoving. i again stress the importance of the bathroom. the last thing me or my inner voice wants at this point is vomit on the floor. she eventually complies, but by then, the room smells like the worst part of any party i've ever been to.

"get me the fuck out of here." quiet and low. "right. fucking. now." i comply, grabbing my bible and a blanket on the way out.

sometimes i'm kind of selfish, but helping out people who smell like vodka vomit has never exactly topped my to-do list. so i sit in the hall, reading my bible and thinking.

not exactly how i imagined the outcome of my evening.

my version involved more hot men.


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