we never talk of our lack of relationships

i might be mad, you know.

i mean that in the proper sense of the word- mad as in insane, off my rocker, one penny short of a dime, kooky, crazed. you know, mad like that.

i was offered a job interview today and i said no. it slipped out much easier than i thought possible- a simple syllable, softly drawn out. followed, of course, by rounds of 'thanks yous' and 'much appreciated' and 'thanks for the consideration' and the like. but the no- the no was what really mattered.

because a job was my goal.

and that is the second chance i've turned down.

[in my defense, i didn't have the wardrobe for this one, nor could i justify building one for five weeks of work. high end ladies fashion is just about as far from me as you can get. i'm sure that there's a place for my ratty cardigans and my men's sorel's and my hot pink tights, but, well, imported lines from enland just don't seem to me, really, that place i'm thinking of].

but really, i must be mad to keep saying no.

after that little syllable slipped out, i painted for two hours. and then i folded paper cranes. and walked out into the bitter cold, leaving a trail of red birds in my wake across the back stretch of parliament and the rows of streets that make up centretown.

my sorels fit in for that part of my day, at least.