calling this a home when it's not even close

graduation is looming.

this makes me indescribably happy. granted, i'm also scared shitless. but i'm more pleased than i can really say that i'll be able to walk across the damned stage, get my piece of paper and be able to say "yeah, that's right. i finished."

what i am not pleased with, however, is the increase in that question that every single undergrad dreads:

"so... what are you going to do with that?"

maybe this is made even worse by the fact that i am getting a degree specifically in humanities. people see or hear that and smile and tell me how nice that is and how wonderful the humanities are. i can tell though, that behind their eyes what they're really thinking is about the broccoli that's on sale and how nice it would go with a some beef and mushrooms with noodles in a kind of stroganoff sauce.

you know what i'm going to do?

i'm going to appreciate bare feet, sunday morning breakfasts, roomates first thing in the morning, hardwood floors, and sunshine at right angles. i'm going to read cookbooks for fun, ondaatje for depth, stephen king for thrills, frank herbert for inspiration, and tolkien for comfort. i'm going to wash baseboards and dishes and buy tea towels every other week. i'm going to walk places, wear inappropriate clothing at parliament, take photos of houses i like, and fight with the pigeons on my balcony. i'm going to work a job that is completely new, completely foreign, and completely captivating because of this. i'm going to plant a small herb garden in pots so i can have lots of thyme. and rosemary. and basil. i'm going to dance by myself in my room at three o'clock in the morning. i'm going to watch battlestar gallactica at odd hours. i'm going to laugh, and stretch, and moisturize far more than i need too.

so, what am i going to do with my degree?

i'm going to live.