'the adventures of a thirty-ish university graduate' or, alternately and perhaps much more aptly: 'as mad as a barking fox'

Friday, September 15, 2006

i will not take these things for granted

this morning i woke up with the ghost of a hangover and the feeling of something i couldn't quite put my finger on.

i've thought about this all day- through historiography [the class of stupid-ridiculousness that was actually quite enjoyable today], through my shopping at bulk barn, through various and sundry transit adventures. it niggled at me while i cleaned my house, grated carrots, was yelled at by a ropgers lady and stayed with my as i nearly did a face plant on elgin. even when talking with les, strolling through south keys [yes, again] i still couldn't put into words what the feeling was.

i'm still trying.

maybe it's contentment. no, really. i know how bullshit classic thirteen year old webjournal-esque that is, but maybe that feeling i woke up was being content. last night was fun, but not just surface fun. i drifted from person to person and all i felt were happy thoughts and good things. oh, there's the regular hums drama and the underlying currents of tension and stress that exisit in any group of fully incestous-type relationships like ours, but for once there was nothing catty, no glances across the room, no people avoiding each other.

people talked- that drunken induced talk filled with random 'no, man, i really love you' lines and the classic 'you know?' that seems to end everyone's sentence. but even the shit talk, the stuff that would normally seem wrong or out of place, flowed just as a sweet as molasses through the evening's discourse. and the best part is, on monday, in class, it'll all mean nothing and at the same time everything at once.

this isn't coherent.

when am i ever coherent though?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

(sorry meaghan, im using yoeur comment section as a convenient way to make blog-style notes to myself)

we are stubborn in opposite directions: you are stubborn to find and to arrive at a conclusion, and I am stubborn to to end at nothing, to arrive at no conclusion


Blogger megs said...

i don't think it's that i am stubborn to find and arrive at a conclusion- it's more that the conclusion here eludes me. i dislike the inability to define exactly what it is that i feel.

instead, i'm left with exactly what you desire- no conclusion. [i'm thinking there must be something to take away from all of this...]



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