each one is a setting sun

last summer was the worst summer of my life.

i had hoped for better this summer, but yesterday, as snot ran down my nose and tears were everywhere and i absolutely raged at my mother about the ridiculousness of working with people who hate you for no realistic reason- only petty ones bases on simple nothings and grandiose fictions construed under false pretenses- i began to wonder if perhaps this summer might not leave me with the same feeling as last year- washed out, empty and surviving only because somewhere i knew that i could escape and leave and dive deep into something that was more me, and less small town, less home.

which really is a horrible way to live, to feel like home is the last place on earth you want to be.

last summer, there was no confrontation.

shit would happen and we would let it slide or cover up or say nothing and just pretend like it was all ok. looking back i have to ask myself if this was the adult thing to do- "oooh, we'll just pretend that nothing happened, old uncle george still has his leg"- something like that.

this summer though, we've taken a new approach- we address situations as they arise.

and after all the adressing that was done today, i can only thank all the gods in heaven that i have been blessed with a wider understanding of the universe, with the knowledge that every human deserves to be treated with repect regardless of where they came from, what race they are, and how they were raised, and that each person, in his or her own way, is valuable.

i only wish that every person was blessed in this manner, because, man, my co-workers are simple minds who feel that in some way, somehow, they are worth more and better than me in some weird, fucked up way.

but atleast i know that's what they think now. and i can live with it.

afterall, there's only four weeks until i get to escape to something more me, until i get to dive deep.

and i mean deep.