'the adventures of a thirty-ish university graduate' or, alternately and perhaps much more aptly: 'as mad as a barking fox'

Sunday, January 28, 2007

my friends, my habits, my family

it's late, the house is empty, and snow is casting small shadows across the wall above my bed.

i wonder, can you miss something you never had?

reason says no, immediately and forcefully. but i'm disinclined to fully trust the reason that comes from my immersion in academia. this is also because my heart immediately tells me that i can miss something without having had it. maybe it's the dreaming of it, and the sudden shock upon waking that everything i've just been immersed in can't manifest here and now. maybe it's the fear, the awkwardness, the downright weirdness of it all? perhaps i crave such things without understanding why and this creates a gap which, in turn, is a space that needs to be filled.

a filled space which i miss without ever having had it?

it's late. i'm talking nonsense. i'm going to go and dream of trips to the aquarium and octopi, heat filled pavement, and strawberry pie.

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